And the sixth day...she rested

I can now count on one hand the number of sleeps before I actually wake up to a very different day!  Five more times I put my head down on my pillow and wake up to a day of getting ready for work.....thinking about what is ahead of me as I drive to work.....thinking about the people I will reach out to or just share some stories. 

Do I have any regrets?  Am I panicking that I might have made a mistake by making this decision.  NO!  I feel calm, peaceful and extremely powerful - in control of my own destination.

Remember that I function each day with pictures in my head of what I want that day to look like - I daydream about what I want tomorrow, next week and even next year to look like.  Now the pictures are a tad different.  I am not sitting at a desk.  I am riding a bike somewhere, digging in soil in a newly developed city park that needs help in its gardens, I am reading a favourite book while sitting on our front porch overlooking our garden beds that we created.  Of course, "my Dan", is a part of my daydreams, my pictures but sometimes I am exploring on my own!

Only five more days - what a lovely gift to open on the sixth day!

Roll the Credits!

18 sleeps until I wake up to a very different day!  My daydreaming, sleeping and wide awake hours have been captured by flashbacks of my working life for the past 45 years!  It is like I am watching a stranger - I can feel her emotions at the time of the event; I am in awe of some of the risks she took; and a tad embarrassed for her at times on some the colossal mistakes (it felt like they were earth shattering mistakes at the time) as she made her way as a young Mom, young wife and now a seasoned professional (I can compliment myself - right?).  She certainly seem to have much different expectations at the starting point then where she ended up.

As a young girl and a teenager my hero's were definitely strong women - Saint Joan of Arc; Madame Marie Curie; Florence Nightingale; Anne Frank - I could not get enough of those women and their stories.  I felt strongly connected and passionate about their lives.

Funny, my expectations for myself at 19, 20 years old was to walk down the aisle, work for a couple of years and stay home with umpteen dozen babies!  After the babies started coming (I found out that it hurts-I hate pain - so only two kids arrived not "umpteen"), my world around me was very much like watching paint dry.  Fast forward the movie, I have arrived at the train station happy, fulfilled, content, excited and still filled with passion for new adventures and new opportunities.

I will continue to watch my movie and enjoy that woman who sure seemed brave at times and very naive at times - there is definitely a disconnect today from that person in my mind while looking outside in.  I think she was pretty amazing as she moved through her journey!

Roll the credits and end the show!